The First Rumpole Omnibus by The First Rumpole Omnibus

Author:The First Rumpole Omnibus
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 2012-02-01T18:13:13+00:00

The evening came when I took Mr Khan home to meet my wife Hilda and her roast. She Who Must Be Obeyed didn't actually scream or send for the police when she clapped eyes on my pupil, but she looked severely shaken, and matters were so tense round the festive board that I was constrained to tell one of my best stories as I carved the beef. I chose the beauty about two men charged with an act of buggery under Waterloo Bridge and tried by dear old Judge Darcy at the Bailey.

'These two men were caught misbehaving themselves under Waterloo Bridge and when he was passing sentence that exquisite old Judge Hubert Darcy said, "You two men have done an abominable act. A most disgusting and horrible act … And what makes it worse — you chose to do it under one of the most beautiful bridges in London."'

I laughed loudly at this conte, as I always do. Khan smiled politely, Hilda was appalled. She looked even more anxious as she pushed a laden plate of roast to Khan.

'Oh dear. I didn't realize. Can you eat beef?'

'Of course he can, Hilda. What do you think? He'd be afraid it was a reincarnation of his grandmother?' I looked at Khan reassuringly. 'Don't worry, dear boy. We got it at Sainsbury's.'

'Roast beef of old England. Perfectly fine. Suits me down to the ground.' Khan sounded enthusiastic. I tried to pour claret into his glass, but the young Pakistani put his hand over it.

'Oh, come along. If you're starting a career at the Bar, we've got to introduce you to the delights of Pommeroy's claret.'

'Well then, just a snifter.' I was glad to see him lap up the claret. I went to turn off one bar of the electric fire.

'What are you doing, Hilda, turning the place into the hothouse at Kew?'

'Don't you find England very cold, Mr Khan?' Hilda asked nervously.

'No. No, I assure you. It is much much colder in the Punjab in the winter.'

'Wasn't your Aunt Fran in the Punjab, Hilda?'

'Oh, that was in the old days. The British Raj, you know.'

'All gone now, eh Khan? Much to the regret of our client Captain Parkin.' I gave them a bit of Kipling.

'Far-call'd our navies melt away

On dune and headland sinks the fire …

Lo, all our pomp of yesterday

Is one with Nineveh, and Tyre …'

'My uncle was District Railway Officer Percy Wystan. I don't know if you ever met him?' Hilda asked, a singularly stupid question.

'Rather before my time, I'm afraid, Mrs Rumpole. All the same. We had some sensible fellows in the government then. Not these silly asses we get today.'

'Do you really think so?' She Who Must Be Obeyed seemed to be thawing slightly.

'All the same, they are your own silly asses. Isn't that the point?' I put it to Khan.

'Oh yes. But they make us blush sometimes.'

At which Hilda actually smiled and I raised a beaker to young Khan's future at the Bar.

'How can I go wrong,'

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.